Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The End

Hi Jonny,

Well it's clear to me that the biblical "End of Days" is here, just as Sarah Palin predicted.  We're covered in a sheet of ice, but now the wind and snow have picked up as well.  I think it's unlikely we'll survive, but even if we do, it's pretty clear that civilization as we know it will not be the same.  It's probably good that I can catch fish to feed my family, but I suspect that I'll have to resort to whatever means are necessary to procure food, meaning that often times I will be choosing live bait over the fly rod, for the sake of efficiency.

Because it's likely that very soon all internet and telephone connections will be severed, I thought maybe you and I should set up some sort of "code word" that we'll both recognize, should we happen upon each other in the woods or wasteland.  I'm assuming we'll both be very dirty and covered in facial hair (well - I'm already like that, so you will have no trouble recognizing me), probably carrying a dead animal.  It's likely that our survival instincts will be on "High", meaning our first impulse will be to kill any other humans or animals we come upon.  But if we could agree now on a code word, perhaps we can prevent or at least delay our own mutual destruction.  Because we're probably not likely to have been communicating in normal English for much of this period, we may no longer retrain our normal vocabularies, so our code word should probably be something we can easily remember and pronounce, in sort of a Cro-Magnon grunt-like way.

I'm suggesting "slurp", but I am open to other suggestions.

It also now occurs to me that we should inform our families of the code word, unless we both just simply agree now that wives are fair game, given the likely state of the world at the time.  It probably is at least reasonable, though, that we agree now that we will treat each other's women with as much respect as possible, under the circumstances - which is to say, with the full understanding that a) they are unlikely to be amenable to an "abduction", but that b) repopulating the planet will be essential.

I apologize if this e-mail is somewhat rambling and incoherent, but as you can imagine, like you I am trying to figure these things out very quickly, while there is still time.

Your pal,


Dearest T.J.,

This is reassuring. I have sent you a personal email with an alternative code word. We will need this to ensure privacy from the thousands of anglers and hunters that have been visiting this blog since the explosion of your T.J. Brayshaw character. It is sad to me that the T-shirts and special no-weight-any-weight fly rods will never see the light.

I appreciate your practical suggestions, as befits a true biologist, for our women folk and for the potential re-population of Earth. On this matter, as we reach the end it seems only fair that I tell you that, during your time in Connecticut, on more than one occasion I........


  1. Jon - an alternative code word is an excellent idea. And please tell my children I love them, especially my beautiful little blonde-haired daughter. (I'm still puzzled by that - ahh, the wonders of genetics.)


  2. Better add a hand signal in case of an ear to ear smile.

  3. I'm likely going to see you first through a Leupold 10x40 rifle scope. I would prefer if we would adopt some sort of subtle "clan" colors. Perhaps a 1/0 Mickey Finn worn pierced through the nose.

  4. Mr Zakur, I will consult the Cabelas Book, which I saw fit to take to my bunker. Darn it I KNEW it'd come in handy. I'm thinking the Cold Weather Camo jacket. Always wanted one. [No, really, I haven't.]

    Andrew - when I showed this to Wife she erupted in laughter at the image of you and I as post-fall out meat hunters. [Can't think why.]

  5. She's laughing now. But me drag woman by hair of head.