Monday, October 1, 2012

Speyside Miniature in the Connecticut Highlands


When you drive north on Route 7, there's a point - probably just before the village of Kent - when you realize you're actually driving through a substantial floodplain. The hills either side take on the look of something approaching mountains and you haven't seen a strip mall in 10 miles. You're in the North-West CT "Highlands", and the ridge to your left is the Appalachian Trail as it clips Connecticut.  And yes, it feels a bit like you're in a small version of Speyside, and you'll just have to take my word for this.

When I posted this on Facebook, one of my friends from Scotland said "I thought you'd taken this in Scotland",
but I had not.
It helps with homesickness to live in a place that feels familiar. And the fishing is familiar, especially on the Housatonic River, which is head and shoulders my favorite river in the area. The picture speaks for itself, but it also has the feel of a wild Scottish river. It's big, natural, difficult to wade, and there aren't many folk about. Of course, were it in Scotland, it's interesting to think that the Housie might contain large, silver Salmonids, cost $300 per day to fish and be bookable months in advance, instead of containing the numerous stocked trout (rainbow and brown) that Zakur and I had ready access to, and caught in profusion, yesterday. And not forgetting the lower reaches, where this large trout stream is a larger tidal river that does contain wild anadromes; it's just that they wear pinstripes.

My right hand and a Brown Trout
The Housatonic is a solid 3 hour round trip from my home on the coast. Purely as a matter of record, that feels like a long way to go on the Sabbath. But the river had just been stocked, and I now conform to the blood lust chances of catching were good, and catch we did. At first, it was just me doing the catching, and this isn't terribly polite when you've gatecrashed a chap's Sunday quiet. But Zakur and I take it in turns at being good at fishing (and as I write this I realize this is another very good thing about the sport. "After you, no no, I insist, you first"). The last time Z and I fished this pool the boot was on t'other foot and I couldn't buy a strike. This time my "success" came of pure laziness, Steve having diligently rigged with nymphs under an indicator, me lacking patience for such apparatus and stumbling on the swung fly as the stockies' favorite. The difference between fish or none is often that simple.

Zakur's turn.
After cookie cutter rainbow followed cookie cutter brown, we decided - as the discerning types we are - to switch to the dry fly. Also, fish had started to rise quite regularly to all manner of mayflies; grey ones, yellow ones, in size something or other. The catching slowed as we worked the rises that were furthest from us, because (a) we pretend we are targeting the most challenging fish, but mostly (b) casting is good, and (c) the fish in the distance are always bigger. At one point we were both playing fish and commented during the struggle that these felt like "better" ones.

Quite embarrassing, then, that we doubled on fallfish. (Incidentally, I think they are very pretty, will take a dry fly, and at the very least present a nice change from trout after stocked trout.)





Quick: here's a shovel-tailed male brown trout to make us feel better.  He hammered a dry Adams and tugged well. It was nice to land him.
Speyside in Connecticut. We'll be back for our Thanksgiving Fruitcake, floods permitting.

Jonny

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Carp Rental

The Culvert is delighted to endorse an inspiring plan to offer short-term, affordable carp rentals for urbanites and college students who don’t own a carp of their own. I may hire one for the Pulaski run this year - improve the smell of the downtown, etc excreta.

 

Nota bene: We haven't been fishing much recently, so I'm grateful to Charlie Kreitler for sharing such complete rubbish (his new venture, The Mudhole Chronicles, is better.)


--EJ

Saturday, September 22, 2012

A Fan of Rhode Island

Dear English Jonny,
I installed another ceiling fan today.  This one is bigger, very nice looking, and is in the master bedroom.  When you flip on the switch on the wall for the light, which is part of the fan, the light does not come on. When you flip the switch that is for the fan, it does not move.  But the fan really does look nice up there, on the ceiling…as still as a rock.

(Also: the fan remains still, and the house does not spin around it.  So, there's a problem with the fan or with my wiring.)

(And also: I took down a perfectly functioning fan with light before I put up the non-functional one in its place. I had to disassemble the working fan to get it down.  So now I have a fully intact immovable fan on my ceiling, and on the floor I have the 37 parts of what was formerly a functioning fan.)

My day has been not entirely unlike a trip to Rhode Island.
TJ

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Culvert Laboratories, again.

Early tests are encouraging



Our best men at Culvert Laboratories have done it again. We’re proud to announce the pre-announcement of our new social media software. We’re still working out the glitches, but this new app will allow you to connect, literally, with fish that are interested in your flies!

Here’s how it works: you create a profile explaining what kind of fly fisherman you are, what type of flies you will be fishing, and what kinds of fish you’re interested in catching.  Imagine: “Dry fly man, fishing elk hair caddis, sizes 12 through 16, seeks length-weight proportionate trout, rainbow or brown, interested in drag free upstream presentation.” Fish create their own profile, explaining what kind of fly they’re interested in biting.  Imagine: “Smallmouth bass, 16.5 inches, seeks crayfish pattern bounced on the bottom.  Will consider topwater, too.”

Then, if it is meant to be, our complex algorithm brings you together.  It’s that simple.

Now, we hear your objections: “This is unsporting!”  But is it, really?  The only fish you’re going to catch through Facehook are those that are actively seeking your flies. It’s win-win!

The app isn’t ready for release, but early tests are encouraging.  All of the fishermen we’ve asked to test the app have found it very easy to navigate.  Drop down menus take much of the guesswork out of the equation, but fillable text boxes still allow customization.

Our problems, so far, are on the other end. Steelhead have expressed interest but they object to the porn filter. Most of the porn they’ve requested is pretty mild stuff  (mostly egg-filled redds, maybe some milt shots) and we’re working on customizing the filter. Bluefish want porn too, but what they’re interested shocked even us.  As it turns out, bluefish like human-on-human porn (particularly freaky stuff, too) but because we hope to market the product to women and children, not to mention long-eared sunfish and pumpkinseeds, we simply cannot allow this.  Musky don’t even return our emails, but we never really expected them to take to social media. Despite these challenges, we’re hopeful. Crappie seem to love the idea, and yellow perch are excited as well. 

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

How to catch crabs

Crabs. 


To: T.J.Brayshaw@TheCulvert
From: English.Jonny@TheCulvert 
Sent: Tuesday, 3 September 2012
Subject: How to catch crabs

Dear T.J.,

Yes, you had mentioned the bottle of Ardbeg.  It is something special.

Our long weekend was nice. Other than finishing the bathroom, I found a new frog pond with my son on Sunday. There were two young women in bathing costumes swimming and taking photos of one another. I think the boy enjoyed it - he caught two very large green frogs - so it's likely to be our new favorite spot. 


We went to the estuary after the pond to ease my erection and try for some crabs. I've never done this before (try for crabs), but we managed to catch a couple (two) with some chunks of BBQ flavored chicken. What surprised me was the amount of bait fish that swarmed around the chicken - literally ripping it to pieces. Have I been missing something all these years? 

Yours,

English Jonny