Allegro
The morning burned golden on
the mountain in the sky. In the
semi-polarized light, Angus saw the wake and the fish rolled. His line never tightened, but he saw the
broad tail. At that moment, his cerebral
cortex said “Aww, fuck it” and his amygdala began the slow but deliberate
process of taking over Angus’s brain case.
Adagio
At first, it was just the
fish. Then it was the fish on that
fly. Soon, Angus could envision the
cast, the mends, the take – and he became unable to distinguish his daydreams
from his ability to predict the future. Once, when a different fish took the fly and
broke him off, he became despondent. He
beat his wife Sarah senseless, went on a three-day bender, and then decided it
wasn’t possible for his fish to break him off.
The very fact that the fish broke him off became proof that it wasn’t his fish.
Angus was a true believer.
Scherzo
On the twenty-third day of
the seventh month of the second year that he pursued this peculiar form of
perfection, Angus needed money. Although
he hadn’t slept for several days, it was dark and there really was no excuse
for the long piece of iron rebar that jutted into the parking space at the
Quik-E-Mart. As Angus pulled into the space, the rebar punctured the already
rusted floor of his car, just missing his balls.
He pulled the rebar from the car, and entered the store. There, he explained what had happened.
“Listen,” he said. “I could
use about $50, and I could use it a lot more than you could use a lawsuit.”
The night manager, a
pock-marked, pot-bellied greasy man, looked at Angus side-ways and replied
“Listen. I could use you to go fuck
your…” but before he could finish, Angus’s cerebellum, now a servant to his
increasingly reptilian brain, had instructed Angus to execute a perfect
Single-Spey with the 7 foot piece of rebar, and this struck the night manager
in the temple, killing him instantly.
Angus reached across the counter and began pulling money from the
register.
In a back room, the cashier
and the ice-delivery kid shared a joint. It took a moment for the cashier to
process what he had seen on the closed-circuit television, but when he had, he
grabbed the ice kid by the sleeve and together they entered the store and
approached Angus. At this point, Angus
turned and this put the approaching men “river right”, so to speak, and the
first motion of his Double-Spey caught the ice kid across the forehead, ending
his ice-delivering days abruptly. The
second motion of the cast took off the cashier’s nose, which hit the glass door
of the beer cooler and slowly slid to the floor.
Rondo
Angus did not return home
the night of the speying, nor the next, nor any other night after that. Sarah found his fishing diary, the one
labeled “VI”, but could make no sense of it.
Each day had an entry, but every entry was the same and contained just numbers
separated by forward slashes: “Oct. 5: 6,788/10,456/1/0.” It was only later, after Sarah had found the
journal labeled “III” that she realized the first number was "casts", the second "mends", the third was "fished moved", and the last referred to the
takes. This number was always zero,
because Angus didn’t count takes that came from other fish.
Ravioli
When the authorities caught
up with him, he was standing in the same spot where he had stood virtually every
day for the last three years. They
watched him from high on the canyon rim, two through binoculars and one through
the scope of a Remington 700 PSS in .308 caliber. They watched him make the same cast, over and
over, and marveled at how, each time, the fly line landed in the same
place. Of
course, that wasn’t entirely true because on occasion, much to his disgust,
Angus did not make the same cast or the same mends. But only he knew this because to anybody
else, they were perfect replicates. Even
if somebody had seen all of them- all 9,936,506 of them – they’d have never
noticed which ones were wrong.
The captain shouted at Angus
to drop his fishing pole and freeze, but at that instant the line went tight so
naturally, Angus set the hook. To the
captain, it appeared as if Angus were drawing a weapon, so he whispered to the
sniper to “Take him”, and a loud crack split the air and echoed through the
canyon. Angus’s feet slipped from
beneath him and he slid into the water.
The captain congratulated the deputy on a nice shot, but the deputy
replied “I never pulled the trigger.”
Across the water, the lawmen saw a giant fish leap, the fly and broken
leader clearly visible in the fish’s huge mouth.
La fine
High up in the trees, two
jays are scolding a third, who is down by the river, picking at a piece of
Gore-tex stuck in the river rocks. A
dipper leaps from his wet perch into the river.
The fading light reflects off of the water like the embers of a dying
fire, and a heron wades the shallows quietly as night falls.
[This piece was published in
a slightly different form in the Spring 2013 issue of "The Drake"
magazine. Thanks to Tom Bie and
"The Drake" for putting it out there.]
I think I've met this guy.
ReplyDeleteWell, hey, we all share the same story.
DeleteWell written. Reminds me of some beer runs I have had to do under duress or stress of wife.
ReplyDeleteA double homicide, gratuitous gore and bit of police chief Wiggum incompetence thrown in to the mix. Perfect Culvert fare for the holiday.
ReplyDelete