Tuesday, April 10, 2012

How it will go down

You will help your wife and kids load up the car, and then you will wave goodbye to them.  They'll be gone for four days, and you have a lot to do.

Safe travels. I'll be good.
You'll need breakfast.  It's the most important meal of the day.  You take solace in the fact that if your wife isn't around to see you eat it, it's not bad for you.  You'll start with a ribeye. You'll trim some of the fat off, but not all of it.  This is going to be a pungent steak - probably too much even for a hearty red, so you opt for a single malt from the Isle of Skye. It's going to be like a cage match in your mouth, and it will be spectacular.

Breakfast - the most important meal of the day
Once you've trimmed the fat, you'll dry roast some whole cumin seeds. They aroma will fill the house for three days.  You'll grind the roasted cumin, with some black pepper, with a mortar and pestle. This you'll rub onto the steak, along with some butter. You'll pan grill the steak quickly, and it will be everything you'd hoped.  Once you've had breakfast, you'll load up the gear and head to the water. En route, Waylon Jennings will tell you how to get the rabbit out the L-O-G.  You'll arrive, and note that the water looks good.

Pool. Riffle. Pool. Riffle.  Repeat, if necessary.
You'll get fish right away, but they'll start out small.

Small.
But as the day warms and you explore new water, you'll start picking up bigger fish.

Bigger.

Fatter.
You'll land several, but lose some of the better ones. You'll lose your focus when you see feeding carp.  You'll fail to catch them.  You'll have trouble even getting up the steep bank.  You'll marvel at your incredible lack of upper body strength.  You'll slide back down the bank again.  And again.  But you will eventually get back to the trail, and you'll walk to the large bridge pool. You'll be tired and dirty, and you'll wonder if you should just go home.  But you'll decide that since you're there, you will toss that meat whistle into the chute at the top of the pool.  You'll mend once, and before your brain will register what has just happened, the biggest smallmouth bass you've ever hooked on this small stream will tail-walk across the pool, covering three feet before it goes under again.  You'll vocalize, but what comes out of your mouth won't sound like words, but instead like something you might say if you touched an electric fence.  You'll wonder if you're going to land this fish, remembering how many have given you the slip already today. So, you'll hit him again and put him on the reel. You'll settle down, regain your composure, and land this fish.

Biggest.

Bridge pool.
Then, you'll reel up and head home for dinner. It's the most important meal of the day, too.

9 comments:

  1. Yeeehaw! Scotch whisky, red meat & fly fishing - you, my friend, are the man... Classic post.

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  2. Classic breakfast ^_^
    if you have a chance to do so, and assuming you don't know them already, I would wholeheartedly recommend you try a Macallan and a Glen Rothes. Two of the best whiskies I ever tasted.

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  3. What breaking strain tippet did you use? What was the killer fly and how was it tied? Why is it vital to add a little water to Talisker? Jeez.

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  4. Well done! I'm smiling this morning as I pack my little boat, not to mention missing spring...

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  5. See...I told you there were fours.

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  6. I certainly hope that's how it goes down

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  7. Fantastic. It is gratifying to hear some good predictions for once.

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  8. "You'll vocalize, but what comes out of your mouth won't sound like words, but instead like something you might say if you touched an electric fence. You'll wonder if you're going to land this fish, remembering how many have given you the slip already today. So, you'll hit him again and put him on the reel. You'll settle down, regain your composure, and land this fish."

    This is a very good blog.

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